Whenever I'm In Mood

The urge to run, but watching friends die, Pain that cuts deeper than the wounds we bear, Pain so sharp, you wish for death, Anything to escape this nightmare. I used to love the beach, The wave sounds, birds chirping, the peace in the air But now all I hear are gunshots, bombs,  prayers and screams, "Medic! I need morphine! Mom, I want to go home" These are the melodies that haunt my ears. I used to love the beach The beautiful scenery, blue skies and ocean, But all I see now are, Ocean runs red,  And friends wash ashore, lifeless. A letter in my pocket With a place that I wrote "Somewhere in France" Dog tags collected from fallen friends clink together, And the thought fills my head— "How if I'm not live that long enough to write back?"

I vowed never to love a woman older than me, Even my friends, my colleagues, they knew this truth. Yet I found myself choking on that promise, When I saw her, smiling, talking to her son— A smile so full of love, A mother, a goddess in her care. And in that moment, I thought, "I want her. I want that love, That smile, To be the mother of my children." But she’s married, And each night, I battle cruel thoughts— Wishing her husband gone, Praying for a fate that never comes. I hate this longing, this bitter truth: I met her too late. I wish we’d met before. My dreams are of a family—her and me— She once whispered her weariness, Tired of work, but needing more. In my dreams, I tell her, “You don’t have to work. Quit if you wish, I’ll provide for you, for our son.” But it’s only a dream. We played tennis once, She was graceful, skilled— And with every swing, every glance, I fell deeper. She became the one I could never have. No one knows this, Not even my closest friends, That I’v...

I imagine that everything I've written in this blog will become inscriptions. A hundred years later, some random person will look at my archives, Witnessing what life was like in the early 2000s, and they'll start to think, "Hmm, a woman." Wait, is it possible that this Blogspot will still be around a hundred years from now? I hope so... A hundred years later, no one will recognize me, Not even my great-grandchildren. I'll rise again as moon orchids... nah, that won't happen. Someone's body will be laid to rest on me, buried. A hundred years later, in 2124, all the memories on my Google Photos will be unknown. Hmm, wait—Google, you have my permission to keep my photos after I die, and when the 2100s come, just spread them all over the world. People will see my life, All my random photos, screenshots, and videos. I hope people in the future will enjoy them as much as I've enjoyed my life. A hundred years later, if someone claims my work as theirs, I wil...

Politik dikuasi oleh kekuasaan yang sedang bertahta. Anak kecil menangis telah kehilangan ibu, ayah, dan suadaranya. Di suatu tempat ada akal licik yang memikirkan kemenangan kepentingan. Alam sedang balas dendam, tornado datang pada tempat yang bukan menjadi habitatnya. Tanaman pada kuburan itu menandakan bahwa yang telah pergi datang kembali dengan wujud yang baru. Berapa luasan lahan yang digunakan untuk pemakaman, benar ternyata baiknya lahan tersebut kita jadikan kebun dan menghasilkan sesuatu yang dapat kita konsumsi. Tidak ada Tuhanmu Tuhanku, yang ada Tuhan kita, yang pada dasarnya tujuannya sama namun berbeda cara. Aku akan merasa setiap umur yang aku injaki merupakan umur yang terbaik yang pernah aku alami. Berapa lama hingga Lorde tidak merasa jijik pada dirinya pada saat menyuruh penggemarnya diam dan biarkan dia menyanyi dengan suara yang fals? Apa yang mereka takutkan dan bagaimana bisa mereka masih menjalani hari seperti biasanya? Apa yang mereka sembunyikan dan motif te...

  Don’t you remember, I’ve told you that it will be a moment when we will be strangers again? Guess this is the beginning of it, I will know you forever as a man who gone and hurt me I thought you will stay for only a couple of weeks, but you are still here, even though I let you go Play the fool, as always, for a thousand time I’m starting to think God designed me as an ugly friend “Her crushes falling in love with her best friend? that’s cruel”, “yes it is” I know how this is gonna end, been there and done that when I was younger Hiding my worst emotion, play it cool, and always support any path my love choose Can we just go back when the time is only us and nobody? For the obvious reason, I want us Letting you go, and seeing you with her now All the giggles you got with her sound like a breaking glass to me But the less I know, the better it is When I’m alone, here I am drunk and writing things about you My brain loves to re-watch the memory of when you saw me half naked Late-ni...

  I'm buying a ticket to Sierra Leone today This is the last day in this city and the subway Disappear from the world is my plan Changing my name to Julian or Vivian Staying in not so cool hotel for a week Going fishing with some locals with red cheek “Jule, do you living your life?” he asks “Yeah, here I’m free without any mask” Hanging out with another tourist, he is an alpha Can’t tell if he’s Arabi or Spanish, but we doing a spa He’s so tall, tan skin, and for sure he is also disappearing Oh no, turns out he is working as a researcher and there’s a ring Watching a video of me and you doing the foxtrot twice today It makes me chuckle like when you said you do like me the other day All the messages, all the calls, you can not reach me, I changed my number You counted 500 messages, that was the last time, I hope I can do better This is me trying to be an alpha girl like you wished for No dear, it is not for you, that's useless, this is my endeavor I remember when you burn me a...